Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 12

I wasn't able to achieve my goal yesterday as I didn't get any reading done for my course, I knew it was there and I knew I needed to do it I just couldn't seem to get myself to sit down and get it started.  This caused me to really start trying to figure out exactly why it was that I have such a hard time getting myself to sit down and focus on this as this course is definitely something I want to learn and I think that I could really get into it if I could just get through the initial groundwork section.  In some respects I think it also just might be that I am afraid of failure, I have tried to finish this course in the past and have never succeeded so I think part of it is that I am afraid that will happen and that I am worried about what effect that might have on me.  I think it might be that some part of my mind is avoiding it because if you don't try you can't fail but that is really no way to live and is not what I want for myself going forward I just haven't quite figured out yet how to overcome it but I am more determined now to push through it and keep trying to move forward with my life.  That being said my goal for today is again to get some reading done on my course regardless of how much or how little but just to sit down and actually focus on actually sitting down to and starting to read it.

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